Special Feature: Snob Said, She Said, "Great" Movies

This is the first in a series of special postings in which the FS and the FSW will face-off on an issue/list/whatever else the FSW deems worthy.
Tonight, we discuss the AFI list of the 400 "Great" films that were nominated toward the final AFI list, "100 Years, 100 Movies".
***********************************************************
Taxi Driver – This is generally considered to be a film snob’s wet dream but I think this movie is for very lonely people. You know how FS explains away my hatred & boredom with this one, right? (practically patting me on the head), “It’s not FOR you.” Seriously. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Goodfellas…it is in my top three (3) movies of all time. And I thought Gangs of New York was terrific. This piece of shit? Nope. (FS TOTALLY fell for this one.)
Blazing Saddles – I hated this movie so much I wouldn’t even know where to begin. So I won’t . I will simply say this movie is for people who like Mel Brooks movies. Personally, I don’t think his movies should be shown outside clubhouse movie night at Del Boca Vista, Phase II. I sort-of liked History of the World almost 30 years ago when I first saw it (I was about nine). That’s it. (FS says he liked this one until he hit puberty…he says Cleavon Little is the only thing that endures from this film.)
Duck Soup/A Night at the Opera/Any other Marx Brothers movie – I am sitting here (literally) shaking my head over this. Who the fuck would even make it through 10 minutes of this shit, let alone nominate it for an award? An award? NFW. They are like the Three Stooges only stoopider. And there are four of them so it’s 33% more tortuous. (FS says these were very witty. Translation: I know I’m SUPPOSED to think these are funny so I will say they are.)
Dances With Wolves – This movie is good for nothing. No, wait, we do love to make fun of the way Mary McDonnell talked while Kevin was (re)teaching her English. Isn’t that nice and sensitive and tolerant of us? (FS says he doesn’t have much to say about this one. He expected to like it but didn’t.)
Singin’ in the Rain – would have been more than adequate as a music video. How and why they stretched it into a whole movie is beyond me. (FS just saw this one recently and REALLY didn’t like it with the exception of a few “fun dance numbers”. You turning gay on me, FS?)
Last Tango in Paris – This was just terrible. I really, really like dirty movies (really…ask FS!) but this was just not watchable. And thanks to the infamous “ramming her fingers up Marlon Brando’s ass” scene, I can no longer look at women w/long fingernails and NOT wonder whether or not they have come into contact w/a fat man’s excrement. (FS wasn’t fooled by this one, either. It was supposed to be profound & brilliantly ad-libbed. It wasn’t. Also, he didn’t appreciate that Maria Schneider looked as if she had Buckwheat in a leg-lock. Full-pubes? Downgrade)
Out of Africa – Snoozer. I like Africa. I like Robert Redford. I love Meryl Streep. None of the three could save this piece of crap. (FS agrees with me. What an honor! Though he does feel Klaus Maria Brandauer was robbed of the supporting actor Oscar. It does not come as a surprise to me that FS would not appreciate good breakdancing (Don Ameche in Cocoon ) when he sees it.)
The Pink Panther – this shit must be for people who like bad comedy but are too dumb to understand Mel Brooks movies. The appeal of this garbage will never, ever make sense to me. Or any other woman. (FS doesn’t like it but admits that if he were a snob of British lineage he would probably love this shit. And he wanted it noted that he loved Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove and Being There (whatever the fuck that is).
12 Angry Men – A semi-interesting story but it should have been cut down to about 25 or 30 minutes – tops. This one just went on forever. I was on a jury once and it took me and one other guy all of 15 minutes to convince the other ten people to vote our way so we could all get the hell out of there. (FS says “It’s a classic. I have no problem with it being on the list.” Not too convincing, is he? He thinks Henry Fonda was amazing and no one today could play the role nearly as well.)
Sleepless in Seattle – shamefully mediocre. Maybe the worst movie on the Top 400 list. This or Fatal Attraction. No, definitely this. Fatal Attraction at least had a good sex scene. When I hear this called a chick flick I am actually a little bit ashamed to be a chick. I was sort of pissed that I wasted money to see this one. At the $2.00 second-run theater in town. ‘Nuff said. (FS says he hated it at the time and hates it even more now. I knew there was a reason I love that man in spite of his snobbery!)
Toy Story – that’s right, motherfuckers, I put Toy Story on my list. Have some! I didn’t get it when we saw it in the theater and when my boys watch it now, I still don’t get it. What was so great and charming and sweet about it? Someone. Enlighten me. Honestly, I don’t care for Pixar movies in general. There wasn’t a single one – and I’ve seen almost all of them – that I would say I really liked. (FS says he recognizes the skill involved but was not entertained by the movie. For some reason he also wants it noted that he hates Tim Allen.)
West Side Story – the worst. This one I actually hate. Apologies to my mother-in-law but, if I have to be the one to tell her it sucks, so be it. (FS says he loves this movie. When pressed to go further, he admitted that what he really loved was the young Latina women in the movie. THAT I believe.)

Please PLEASE share with me – with us - the “Great” movies you just don’t “get”!